Luang Prabang, Laos: The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly

What a week it's been. I also couldn't've come up with a more appropriate title.... Things have really been all over the place this week.

Golden Triangle

Before taking the 2-day slow boat into Laos I hung around the Golden Triangle which was actually pretty cool, you could literally see thailand, myanbar/burma and laos all at the same time. Funny that you could literally swim across and make it to both countries in 2 minutes. I also went to the Opium museum which was cool because they showcased the entire history of opium, how it's been perceived for hudreds of years and how they grow it and prepare it.

At the Opium musem, what they used to smoke

at the golden triangle. Standing in Thailand with Myanmar on the far left, Laos on the far right

Chiang Khong

That day was a painfully frustrating route to Chang Khong, which is where i would take the slowboat into Laos. I had the most frustrating conversation with the Songthaew driver. it sort of went something like this.

me: how to get to Chiang Khong?
drivers: no more chiang khong. tomorrow chiang khong.
me: no, i can't. i have to leave today, today chiang khong? how?
drivers: haad bai, 50 baht.
me: where's that?
drivers: yes.
me: ... can i get to chiang khong from there?
drivers: chiang khong 500 baht.
me: that's too expensive! where is haad bai on the map?
drivers: yes.
me: no, can i get to chiang khong from haad bai?
drivers: oh.

this pointless language barrier conversation goes on for a solid 20 minutes before i just say screw it all and get at the back of a songthaew where i hear the driver yell "HAAD BAI!" I check on my phone and notice that haad bai is directly halfway from where i was and where i wanted to be, so i figured... i'll get halfway closer? So i hop on the songthaew and am literally standing at the back (all seats were taken), holding on for dear life, getting all the road dust in my face, but at least enjoying some nice scenery... Well, we make it to haad bai and the driver is condescendingly nodding, smiling and gesturing with open arms around him saying that this is haad bai and that the route to chiang khong i'd have to figure out for myself. Excuse me? the guy demanded 400 baht to take me there if i wanted to stay on the songthaew. We were LITERALLY in the middle of nowhere, some remote village, with 4 locals sitting with me waiting to be dropped off somewhere as well. This driver stood there at the back of the songthaew with me and refused to continue driving me OR the rest of the locals until i either got off or paid him 400 baht. I did neither, and just sat there - my haggling was admirable, i tried so hard. i was so annoyed and felt so ripped off. He and i literally stood and sat there in silence for a solid 5 minutes. In those 5 minutes i contemplated my options, which weren't really good..i'd be stranded in the middle of nowhere with NO place to stay and NO transportation to get me out. He was also using the locals as bait to make me feel guilty. If the locals weren't in the Songthaew we literally could've stood there in silence for a half hour until he lowered his price. Chiang Khong was still 20 km away. My only option was to surrender and give him the money, accepted with his dirty smile... i seriously wanted to slap this guy. but at least i got there safe. god it was frustrating, I almost cried. Actually i may have. Category: Bad.
I wound up staying at a wonderful guesthouse once i made it to Chiang Khong, took my 2nd shower of the day, and relaxed for the first time all day with a cold drink. I left in the morning for the slowboat, saying goodbye to my Thailand chapter....

2-day slow boat into Laos..

This boat ride lost its charm after the first day. The 2nd day everyone was antsy, restless, tired, ran out of things to do and say, and we all just wanted to get off and walk.. a lot of people also stocked up on a bunch of beers to get them through the day. The 6 hour boat ride on day 1 provided amazing views of the mekong, with rocks resembling thin slices of slate, stacked and piled on top of one another - some appearing melted, forming undulating waves as if to mimic the flow of the mekong's stream. Modestly elegant boats with enthusiastic Lao children from the villages in the hills completed the picturesque landscape along with plateau upon plateau on the land, made up entirely of sand. Category: Good.

We stayed in Pak Beng, the halfway point between Chiang Khong and Luang Prabang, Laos. Nothing exciting here really, but they had hilariously bad translations in their menus that we all got a kick out of.



That's supposed to say Fried Pumpkin.

Luang Prabang, Laos

Once the 2nd day 7-hour long boat ride was over, we were all eager to shower and have a good time that night. I was in Laos, feeling great about things, excited for a change, curious about the unknown.... I was feeling good about how my mentality towards negative situations improved, how i was coping with language barriers, how i was readjusting to meeting a new group of people...
We had gone out to an amazing bar with these awesome mattresses to lie on near low tables after we had the most INSANE dinner at the night market - the handicrafts in Laos are BEAUTIFUL. I like them so much more than the ones in thailand and literally wanted to buy everything. There was a food alley where we were able to buy a plate-full (filled as high as you wanted) for 10,000 Kip, which is roughly $1.25. WOW. Category? Definitely good.

Pick out anything you want here until your plate overflows, for $1.25

Every bar in Laos closes at around 11:30pm, but there is one bowling alley that stays open until about 2:30am, so everyone ends their night here. It was so fun. We hired a tuk-tuk to take us there but here's another one of those annoying scams. We say bowling alley 8,000 kip each, the driver says ok and agrees but takes us to an air conditioned van instead. Once we get there he says 10,000 kip. We say "no we agreed on 8." He says "no, this is van." We say "but we didn't ask for a van, and you agreed to 8." and he says "10." this got me so annoyed i just gave him 8 and walked away, which was followed by angry and aggressive gestures and caused him to lose face. I'm sorry, but you don't trick us into that kind of crap. I got so annoyed after my 400 baht story i wasn't gonna take it anymore. Category: Bad, and straight up annoying.

It was the moment we got back to the hostel that i realized i lost my cell phone. My GPS, my morning alarm, my iternet, my connection to friends texting me, my way of letting my parents know i was ok, a few pictures as well, it was my everything... my money belt where i kept it was unbuckled, which was a first. i hadn't noticed it until that moment. I still don't know if somebody stole it or it just fell out. It really, really, really sucks. I've never lost my phone before. I had been so careful... My camera and money belt never left my side. But my phone left my money belt. I felt so naked without it. I GPS tracked it 2 days later and it pinged to Vientiane, 15 hours away. And no, I never found it again. Category: Really Bad.

I didn't go to sleep that night. I couldn't get my phone off my mind. We had heard things about the "Morning Alms Walk" that the monks do - it's when they walk around the city to receive offerings from the locals for their meals (that's their only way of getting food) and it started at 530AM. It was 3AM already, and my mind was just racing, there was no way I was going to sleep. so I stayed up with a few others and had a stiff drink. I needed it. 530 came around and we bought some sticky rice, bananas and wafer snacks to get ready to offer to the monks. It was a unique experience, i really will never forget it. The monks will also just keep walking if you don't extend your arm out, since they never "ask" for anything. It was sooo interesting to be a part of, watching monks walk single file with their alms all on their right side. It was only a shame that half of my mind was fixed on the loss of my cell phone. I was grieving pretty hard but was also trying to let it go and enjoy the moment. I tried being very subtle with pictures. Category: Good.

What we offered to the monks. We can only offer with our right hand

Once that ended, we checked out their morning market (with Squirrel Alley, where they sell some crazy things) and then all went back to bed for another 2 hours before headed to the Kouang Si Waterfall, a GORGEOUS place to spend several hours, it was incredible. The water was like glacier water, light blue and crisp. I could've visited that place every day if there wasn't an admission fee and if it wasn't a half hour away from the center of town. The boys enjoyed swinging on a high rope into the water above 20 feet, it was fun to watch.

Those are cooked rats, and 2 dead birds up for sale...

i was barely able to keep that pose.. borderline drowning

The next day was filled exploring the beautiful city of Luang Prabang. It has gorgeous French Colonial architecture and in turn, has incredible french bakeries.... i had a pain au chocolat with ALMONDS and it was to die for. The whole scene of the bakeries, the french-style windows and tall narrow doors, the labels for croissants and specialty breads in perfect and flirty french script lettering... I was happy to get a taste (both literal and figurative) of Paris. We explored the many temples, had a delicious pizza lunch, and visited the National Museum which was SO interesting and refreshing, I hadn't been to a museum yet. It was the former king's house and also felt like i was walking into an Asian version of Versailles... later that night we went to a bar to celebrate International Womens Day! They have a huge celebration here for that holiday, with a drink called LaoLao which is the only cheap alcohol the locals can afford, made up of 50% alcohol and 50% rice. Here we learned all about Lao culture. SO many wild, interesting facts including:

1). Locals who earn minimum wage have an annual salary of only 1,000 kip (that's 13 cents), which is less than what a BeerLao costs.
2). Locals can also get by on only spending under $1 USD a day (especially farmers)
3). Foreigners can only sleep with locals if they marry them
4). The average age to marry in Laos is 15.
5). Drugs are a serious crime in Laos and if you're put in jail, THEY DON'T FEED YOU. A family member has to come visit you to feed you and keep you alive, so if you're a foreigner traveling alone... you're screwed.
6). Laos is so poor and relatively new to tourism and development that it didn't become accessible by road until nearly the 21st century.
7). "Farang" which is the term used to describe foreigner, originally just meant "French" from when it was colonized.
8). The reason why all the meals at a big dinner never come at the same time like in Western countries is because locals don't believe in individual possessions, which explains why their word for "mine" is exactly the same word they use for "yours." They are entirely community based.


The next day, I got ready to do a 2-day 1-night Mahout training elephant course. IT WAS INCREDIBLE (for the most part). I initially wanted to do the program with Elephant Village but it was just too expensive. Opting for the cheaper one was well worth it, though. I got so emotional initially noticing the elephants in the distance, they are such interesting giant majestic creatures, so different yet so similar to us. We got on the elephants immediately but with their saddles on and just walked down the stream, but i got bored of this because we did nothing but sit on a wobbly uncomfortable saddle. Then it was time to "bathe" them. And by bathing i mean us getting totally slaughtered as a joke made between the Mahout (trainer) and the elephant. You went into the river (which i felt gross about because the elephants poop in it) with the elephant half submerged and the mahout who helps you get on (which is A PROCESS.). Once you've achieved the moderately difficult task of moujnting the elephant, the mahout yells a command resembling "HOOK!" which makes the elephant completely submerge into the water, shake his head around, until you're thrown off. This happened to me about 5 times. I felt like i was on a mechanical bull, and hated it... I wound up being in the deep end of the river, doggy-paddling my little heart out, UP STREAM. I was doggy paddling as fast as i could just so i could stay in the same place and not get pushed downstream. I was losing all my energy, i had to reach out to the mahout and just lie on the elephant sideways, because i thought i was going to pass out. i could not take another dunking, and just wanted to be out of the water. I had completely over-exerted myself and it felt like the only thing pushing me through to keep on swimming was survival. I just wanted to wash the elephant, not get totally owned by it! A beautiful photograph came out of it though, where the mahout and the elephant save me and emerge from the cold water and i am panting, relieved, and at the same time totally taken aback that for the first time ever i was riding an elephant bareback. I thought it perfectly captured the moment and emotion running through me:


The exhaustion, the relief, and the amazement - all in one.

 After a much needed shower (which was not even that satisfying because it was with the same bucket of water used to flush down the toilets with), we had a delicious lunch made by the mahouts and hung out on this GORGEOUS balcony overlooking the river and the village on the other side, watching the elephants eat and the children play in the water. A cold diet coke with me sitting in my bamboo chair completed the scene.
Then we fed the elephants BANANAS, unpeeled. So cool how they just wrap and pick things up with their trunks, that little nose at the end is seriously like a 3rd functional hand. I was so overly excited about all of this, watching them politely gesture that they would like more...
Afterwards we got a sheet of paper with all of the basic Mahout commands, which we tried out later. IT WAS SOOOO COOOOOOOL. I had so much fun with this. It was just amazing. It's something i'll never forget. Granted my elephant didn't always entirely understand my female voice and accent, so the mahout helped me out a few times... It was amazing riding these elephants bareback, with your legs tucked right behind its ears and your palms resting on its prickly head. What a magical experience, I thought. We also went off to cut some "White Banana" trees to feed them, and at the end of the day rode them into the forest, where we'd leave them for the night and pick them up in the morning. Category: Amazing.

Our sheet of commands, all phonetic too!

 We were asked if we wanted to stay at the elephant center or spend the night in a village homestay. Apparently most people stay safe and choose the elephant center, but we decided to do the village homestay. I didn't even know this was a part of the program, but it was so incredible. We trekked into the most remote village where only 200 people live, 75 families. We were warmly greeted into the home of a large family, one guy passed out on the floor from drinking too much LaoLao the night before for the International Womens Day celebration. We sat in their house and ate a local dinner with them, all food grown or caught by them, it was so amazing. Locals occasionally peeped their head in the door to see who the visitors were this week/month. (They rarely get 'farangs' in their village). I thought it was the most amazing, authentic experience. And we got to chat with them all night (with the help of our tourguide who also spent the night there with us, translating bits and pieces). Category: Amazing.



Classic Lao home with 2 stories.



Our meal with the family, SO AMAZING. Morning Glory leaves, seaweed from the river with sesame, fish with cooked tomatoes and onion, cooked watermelon greens and pork soup.... I helped myself to 4 servings (and felt sick from having eaten so much)

Inside their home just started dinner, our tourguide is in the striped shirt.

We woke up at 7AM the next morning and were unexpectedly thrown into an aggressively quick and steep trek uphill to go pick up the elephants from the forest. I was exhausted, feeling like i completely overexerted myself, especially from having no breakfast yet and totally panting and preventing myself from drowning the day before with the elephant dunking me in the deep end. Finally we got to bathe the elephants (for real this time) and it was SO much better. The elephant gave me a bath by splashing the water at me with its trunk. it was so much fun. Category: So good.

Afterwards we had breakfast, and that's when i seriously began to feel  ill... I felt nauseous from this point on, and it didn't go away for another 24 hours. it could have been one of many things - a). maybe it was my absurd 4 servings of the local food, b). i swallowed some river water when the elephant splashed me, c). my exhaustion and overexerting in ridiculous exercise, or d). all of the above.

It didn't help me out when we said bye to the elephants and got ready to go kayaking, which was also a part of the package. Now i was thinking, ok an hour of kayaking, i can do that. No, this was 4 HOURS. i was feeling hot, sick, overly exhausted from the elephants and trekking, and was completely DREADING going down rapids in a kayak for 4 hours. So we start and every time i exert some energy to move forward, i got a little bit more nauseous. eventually i just felt like a slave to the river. My friend erik said i looked miserable, and my tourguide said i looked sick. I was definitely feeling miserable, sick, exhausted and frustrated. Towards the very end through our last rapids and water splashes, shoulder sores and hand blisters, i was dangling by a thread, trying not to get sick or pass out. I was relieved it was over, pissed, exhausted and feeling ill. I think this moment was the grossest i had felt all trip. I was covered in sweat, sunscreen, bugspray, dirt, toilet water, river water, probably elephant poop, elephant sweat, and god knows what else was in that river. Seriously though, under NO circumstances, should 4 HOURS of nearly non-stop kayaking, BE FUN. We kayaked 15 km.... are you kidding me? Maybe i would've enjoyed it if i wasn't so tired and sick. But otherwise... Category: Ugly.

The second we got back to the hostel i got sick. Went to bed that day at 6PM, did not go out, did not eat dinner, i was just so physically ill. It was bad news bears. It was during my half-slumber that I sort of realized that i need to get out of Luang Prabang. There were strange vibes all over the place here. From getting sick for the first time ever on the trip, losing my cell phone, feeling overly pushed into exhaustion, more scams, i just wanted to get out and move onto the next place. But it was strange that this was also the place that provided some of the most beautiful moments of my entire trip as well, like taking care of and conserving the elephant wildlife, diving into beautiful waterfalls with good company, and providing monks with their only food for the day... Still, I decided to not waste another moment and got on a 9AM bus to Vang Vieng.


Where I am Now:

Vang Vieng. This place didn't reach popularity until the mid 90s when a group of backpackers discovered it for its river and awesome tubing opportunities. You literally tube down a river and get pulled into tons of bars which are all lined up along the sides, and it's an all day event. I haven't done this yet since I just got here yesterday, but today i will !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm relieved to be here and out of Luang Prabang. The roads to get here are TERRIBLE, but I saw some of the most scenic mountain views as well, passing by villages that were lined along the highway, half on the highway and half on stilts above the cliffs... kind of scary. I'm excited for Vang Vieng. It actually reminds me a bit of Pai, and that definitely feels like a good thing. Every restaurant here has soft cushions to lie back and eat on and all of them have TVs, either playing day-long marathons of Family Guy or Friends. I COULD stay here forever.

This trip has made me feel everything at a highly enhanced, concentrated level. I'm feeling every possible emotion on this trip, both the good and the bad, which includes emotions that i haven't visited for what feels like years including the most heightened feelings of defeat, accomplishment, frustration and complete euphoria...

I will be in Hanoi, Vietnam in a week or less. Let's see what Vang Vieng has to offer first.
Til next time,

Celine