Confronting Fears & Animals (mostly)

Another crazy-packed week in the Philippines, which has continued to amaze me with its people, its sites and culture. The only thing that I haven't been too impressed with is the food, but that's unimportant for this post.

Coron

After my practically flawless time in El Nido, I took a slow-boat over to its neighboring island, Coron. While I was here I took another boat tour to snorkel and explore, but it was less impressive than El Nido overall. This wasn't really a surprise, so let's get to the real surprise of my time in Coron.

Okay... maybe Coron is still beautiful :)

Our meal during this tour was such an island meal!!!!
The green on the far left is "sea grapes" - a very cool type
of seaweed that just bursts in the mouth like Japanese tobiko 

Passing through while on a kayak...

ALERT!! SEA URCHINS 4 FT BELOW ME!
SWIM AWAY!

Anyone who's seen me swim has probably never thought of me as an amazing swimmer. Yes, I will survive, but no, I cannot dive into the water's depths with a snorkel mask on, nor can I handle really rough currents with grace. So what crazy fear did I decide to face, for no particular reason at all, basically to put myself through a challenge? SCUBA DIVING!

So, I was terrified. And anyone reading this blog entry who has SCUBA dived before will probably laugh. We arrived at Reggae Dive Center (amazing place to dive with) bright and early at 7:30AM, and I wasn't speaking too much. I was so nervous. I had to test out all of the gear, the wet suit, the SCUBA jacket with all sorts of tubes and air pockets, swimming shoes, snorkel mask, you name it. And once everything was checked for fit, they loaded the tricycles and vans with the nitrogen tanks which would soon be our air supply... I get on the boat and the "lesson" officially begins, where we learn how to attach the tank onto the jacket's back, how to connect the tubes together and what everything means, basically. And I really thought to myself, "What the f- was I thinking, signing up for this madness?" My instructor was Dennis, he pep-talked me, asking me why I was scared, and I almost started to cry. What made me impulsively want to face a fear like this, of being in the depths of the sea, of water pressure changing the size of my lungs, possibly making my sinuses clog, nose bleed and ears hurt? I thought of all the terrible things that could happen. The closer we got to our first destination, the more I couldn't believe this was a legitimate fear of mine to submerge myself so deep into water where my only oxygen supply was through a tube in my mouth. The concept is pretty amazing, and terrifying.

The lesson begins...

How was I seriously going through with this? "This is crazy," I thought, yet so many people in the world do this. And then we made it to our first destination in the water... I got all my gear on. Tank, straps, tubes, wet suit, mask. We tried breathing through the tube in shallow water. It felt so unnatural, and you really had to regulate your breathing to match how the oxygen flowed in and out of the tube. Already that was unsettling, but I got it. But that was 60 seconds. Could I really do that, stay submerged and keep my cool for over 30 minutes? I put a belt of weights on. The thought of sinking lower and lower into the sea with pressure changing my body was intensifying my fear and anxiety. And then we sunk in, little by little. I adjusted my buoyancy, sinking lower, the pressure very present in my ears. Stay calm.

Suddenly I was under water and held my instructor's hand for the entire first dive!!!! I honestly felt like a newborn baby, completely helpless to be on my own and paid attention to nothing else but what things were directly in my peripheral vision - I could not tilt my head, turn, I just tried to kick my fins every once in a while, to continually breathe in and out at a steady rhythm. And then we found some beautiful things, like many anemones with clown fish swimming in it, huge 3ft clams, amazing large fish of every single shape and color, a cousin of the "spanish dancer", it truly is a different world down there.

!Japanese shipwreck from 70+ years ago

Then before I knew it my instructor gestured to be careful of my head - we were back at the boat's edge. He told me we were down there 34 minutes, and reached a depth of 11 meters. WHAT? It had only felt like 15 minutes, if that. I was also sort of relieved to breathe real air again.

Then we took a long break before our second dive - you need to wait about an hour for all of the nitrogen bubbles to leave your system. I could feel as I was swimming that parts of my fingers and toes were tingling. This was due to the bubbles going through my blood stream. Then we were ready for our second dive. I didn't feel totally satisfied with my accomplishment of the first dive, because I held onto my instructor the whole time. So why not throw myself another challenge - navigate entirely on my own for this second and final dive (WHY?).

So in letting go of my instructor, I felt completely weightless - it's quite an experience - it's just you, floating through the ocean's vastness, hearing nothing but your breath and the bubbles coming out of the tubes with every exhale, almost massaging your ears as they pass by to float back up to the surface. I was fine on my own for about 1/3rd of the dive. Moments after I took this picture above, during my 2nd dive and totally unaccompanied by my instructor, suddenly I couldn't get myself at the right buoyancy and I was starting to float up very quickly, which caused me to exert a lot of energy in trying to come back down - this caused a shortness of breath. I wanted to breathe faster (as what would naturally happen when you exert energy) but my breaths were faster than what I felt the regulator allowed - so I was forced to breathe air slower, which made me feel like I wasn't getting enough oxygen. Panic ensued, I was stuck down here, I was desperate for a real breath of real air. I swam to grab Dennis' arm and he gestured the "OK?" symbol with his hands and I shook my head no, he could see terror in my eyes, I begged to swim up to the surface, which was too high above me at this point for it to be a safe ascent if done quickly. He shook his head at me calmly, his hand gesturing to calm down, not panic, breathe in, and breath out. I squeeze his arm so tightly in fear that I was not getting enough oxygen. Breathe in, breathe out. In. Out. In...

...And suddenly, the panic had stopped, my breath caught up again with its only little tube source of air. Wow, wow, wow. I did not let go of him the rest of the way. That moment was truly so scary. SCUBA diving is so much mind over matter. It is such a true, meditative test - and probably one that is beneficial (or dangerous?) for people who have suffered panic attacks. It truly is a lesson that your mind is the answer - to allow yourself to take control of it, rather than let your mind take control of you. It really is the ultimate challenge of mental control. Because you are FORCED to calm down, to train your mind, to focus on your breathing, or else you die or get decompression sickness. I really panicked, and I was stuck with my only lifeline being this inflexible breathing tube in my mouth, my mind the ONLY source of recovery and survival. It is much harder to get rid of a panic attach above water, because you continue to breathe quickly and have your heart race. Here, deep under water, there IS NO way out.

After I calmed down and enjoyed the rest of the dive, suddenly it was already over - this time, we spent 44 minutes under water and were 12 meters down. I couldn't believe this either, because it only felt like 20 minutes. I'm convinced that time is relative underwater, and goes twice as slowly as above water...

Your breath. Your mind is the answer. It is such a powerful thing. It was truly a powerful discovery and moment for me. And WOW, I feel crazy that I did it, despite my fear, and despite my recent history of panic attacks since my dad's death, and I survived - twice. Truly a day I will always remember...

I then received my certificate of completing 2 dives. I thanked Dennis, over and over and over again. His calm nature helped me so much. I felt safe. There is an amazing side to SCUBA diving, which to me is in the trust that's quickly formed among the instructors and all students. You rely on each other and look after one another, and become a team. I felt the quick closeness that forms and understood immediately how people fall in love with this experience, and possibly one another.

At the end of this exhausting day, I found my body completely eaten alive not by mosquito bites, but flea bites. This has turned out to be a complete nightmare because I have over 30 bites all over my body, and they itch far more and for far longer than mosquito bites do. I blame the dog that sat right next to me when we went out for some food. (Note, it's been over a week since this incident, and the bites are still on my body).

In better news, I bumped into some of my great friends from El Nido! We ended the day doing a hike of 700+ steps up to the top of Coron's hilltop to enjoy the sunset, and that was that...

Cebu

This was my next stop the day after SCUBA diving and hiking the 700 steps. Here there's a well-known area where you can swim with whale sharks. I was initially highly against it, because apparently they are constantly fed in this area, which has made them begin to forget how to naturally migrate on their own to find food. I did not like the idea of interrupting their natural way of life, but all of the new friends I had made were on their way the following morning and I had nothing planned. Reluctantly, I went.

I'll admit, it was very cool to swim RIGHT next to these enormous, harmless creatures. They are so huge, it was still scary even though they don't eat humans. It reeked of fish, and I kept getting stung by anemone particles, and then a REALLY harsh sting. To my luck, I got stung by a jellyfish on the back of my knee... The whole thing though, to swim with the whale sharks was *ALMOST* not worth it, because it felt more like a disneyland attraction than a cool discovery in the water, despite them being in their natural ocean habitat. I don't regret it, but I do feel guilty.

It's Destiny from the Finding Dory movie!!
They have the cutest mouths

We were done with all of that by 9AM. I had no idea what was ahead of me the rest of the day - it felt like an overall animal cruelty day because then two new friends of mine said they were going to see a "cock fight" because it was the start of a 2-day festival here. Since I had nothing planned the rest of the day and the weather wasn't too great, I decided to tag along to see what that was like. I was in for complete culture shock.

It was at the back of this area along the main road, tons of male Filipinos, gambling. There was a game called "3 coins", which was perfectly fine and all in good fun. So much trust involved as well, because money is just thrown all across the floor and people will just remember and be honest about who gets what. But then it was time for the cock fights. Uh oh...

I can handle this! Just a gambling game with coin tosses!

I was not prepared for what I was about to witness. A huge den that men surrounded to watch the brawl. Owners first gather together with their roosters to see who will match up with who, based on if their roosters show determination to want to attack another. Once there's a match, someone with a briefcase of BLADES comes over and the owner takes out the blade and ties/wraps it around the back of their rooster's left foot with a strong. This place is curved like the grim reaper blade and is about 5 inches long, and sharp AF.

Look at those blades !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then the owners enter the den with their roosters. A HUGE crowd of MEN surround the den area, and the owners hold onto the tails so the audience can observe the two roosters and their eagerness to kill. This is when the audience places bets on who will win. It's always a crowd favorite (one that has fought and won before) vs. the underdog (first time fighting). Men yell out who they are betting for and for how much, while the owners begin the pre-battle step: each rooster is held and has a go at striking forward to bite the other rooster's neck area 3-4 times. This can also sway how spectators bet.

Then they carefully untie the blade protector sleeve, place their roosters down and step away, and the battle begins... My jaw was open the entire time and honestly coincidence or not, my stomach physically hurt after the first fight and continued to hurt the rest of the afternoon. It's one of the most barbaric things I've ever seen, yet I couldn't look away.

The roosters just flail at each other, trying to strike with the blade. Eventually after several blows and slashes, one of them begins to weaken, or just can't get up anymore. The ref picks up both roosters again and drops them as a "reset" match, and you can tell which one is losing :( But if both are badly hurt and incapable of standing on their two feet, the ref will hold them again and see which oen will strike with its beak instead - 4 times in a row, and they win. You can see them dying, losing blood, closing their eyes, lights out. You can also see when they're totally suffering :( twitching from the loss of blood, trying to move... One of them brought tears to my eyes, because the match was over, but locals left the losing rooster in the arena - they TOSSED IT out of the den and it hit the fence on the way out and collapsed on the floor again. How can they do this? Why don't they just isntantly kill the poor thing to end its suffering? It was an intense culture shock, and I had a lump in my throat and watery eyes from the brutality and pain of it all. And yet, I was simultaneously fascinated and bewildered by this major event that this country looks forward to watching and participating in.

And what happens to the "winners" who might have had a few lacerations of their own? There's a rooster SURGEON. Yes, a doctor that almost immediately sews up the rips and tears in the skin for immediate repair - the rooster lies still, its head covered with a cloth - and it really doesn't move - it's perfectly calm. and then once it's healed, it's ready to take on another fight.

You really have to see it to believe it...

And the one who slowly dies? well - I watched one breaths away from death get taken away immediately and dunked into a barrel of boiling hot water. It was cooked immediately. Feathers ripped off... and you could see on its bare skin afterwards, the exact puncture wound that killed it - straight into the heart. People tried to give this whole gambling game validity, that it "gives them a chance to fight for their lives!" that "it's way better that they die in this way than how they die and are treated and killed in the farms where you live," I didn't want to believe that the chickens I've eaten have all died in a brutally unethical way that surpasses the "fight to the death" scenario of a Filipino cock fight and where the moment they are born they are trained to kill each other. But... I'm also not so naive to say that the chickens I've eaten were all killed the "right" way. I suppose ignorance is bliss...

The next 24 hours involved me eating no chicken at all. I suddenly felt so much disgust that I was eating these poor creatures. Instead, we had a very solid group of us rent motorbikes and drive 2 HOURS out to head to Kawasan Falls, a pretty waterfall area where you can go "canyoneering" - something I really wasn't in the mood to do - you jump around rocks, do cliff jumping, dive into water, get carried by the stream, hike, jump some more, it sounded exhausting. But the motorbike ride there was amazing, as was the color of the water... So I stayed at the waterfall while my friends all went canyoneering.

My Cebu crew in their canyoneering gear!

Where I stayed instead of canyoneering.
Not a bad alternative ;) 

The motorbike ride back was equally as awesome - all clustered close together in a line on the highway, zipping through the night. I absolutely love being on a motorbike, especially traveling in a group - once again, the theme of looking out for one another and sticking together. I've felt this theme very strongly throughout multiple situations in my travel this year.

Bohol

I only spent 2 days here after Cebu, and I'll be honest I could have skipped it. I did an extremely touristy tour, not realizing it would be so. This really soils an experience abroad, when you realize you're being taken to so many gimmicky places. What I really wanted to see were the "chocolate hills", really cute peaks in a landscape, but even that was not what I fully expected, because you could only take your picture on a gated lookout point, you couldn't climb them - I was hoping for something adventurous like that.

The gimmicky spots were an unimpressive snake farm, butterfly sanctuary, a TERRIBLE "river cruise" for lunch where the food wasn't even good and then it stopped on a moat where there were performers playing the ukulele and dancing the traditional Filipino dance jumping over the two bamboo sticks on the floor like hopscotch (ok this was cool to watch, but the rest was completely unauthentic). BUT... One stop I was not expecting and it was wild - TARSIERS! These are the creatures with the really huge eyes, oh my god I had never seen one before and they are so tiny, they really look like little aliens with frog hands and gremlin faces. They could fit in your hand and are probably in between the size of a hamster and guinea pig.

Amazing forest/road we drove through on the way back

The other highlight in Bohol had nothing to do with the tour (which I wanted nothing to do with after it was finally over) was the fresh seafood. Really really fresh, caught-an-hour-ago fresh, seafood.

Where I am now

Boracay, my last official stop before Manila! There won't be much at all to write about Boracay, because the weather has not been good here and it's mostly just beach time and fun nights out (TYPHOON ISSA, finally coming! - relieved it's only at the tail end of my trip that one is actually starting). I plan to write one final blog entry, the day I'm at the airport about to fly back home for my final "Closing Words", as usual. There is so much to reflect on, recap and express after this trip. I do not even know where exactly to begin, but I guess whirlwinds don't really have a beginning or end, do they?

From Pollution to Paradise

Ahhhhhhhh, I have completely fallen in love with the Philippines!!!!!!!!! Wish I could stay here longer to explore more of this amazing country!

But before that moment occurred, I got really sick. Remember that 48 hour commute with the ferry? Well, it did its number on my body. I developed a gum infection from not being able to brush my teeth during that time, and once I arrived in Puerto Princesa, I came down with a headache-inducing fever for 2-3 days, the WORST post-nasal drip of my life (it was like a leaky faucet every 10 minutes), and then, due to the different type of terrible exhaust pipe fumes from the tricycles in Puerto Princesa, I developed a very intense bronchitis that eventually went away.

SO I won't even need to talk about Puerto Princesa, because this was just 2-3 days of pure rest and recuperating from the ferry and flight nightmare. I took care of my fever, my nose, my lungs, I rested, drank water, and really didn't do anything else. Once I got better, I headed straight to El Nido, which is probably the most beautiful place I have ever been to.

El Nido

When I think of jaw-dropping paradise full of amazement, wonder and romance and adventure and peace, El Nido is perfectly it. El Nido is the true gem of the Philippines. I also stayed at the most amazing hostel ever, Spin Hostel, which truly felt more like a resort. But let's just get to it - the Tours are what attract people to this amazing place. There are 4 types offered, Tour A, B, C, or D. I did A and C, which take you to hidden and secret lagoons and beaches that make up the Bacuit Archipelago. We swam, we snorkeled, we kayaked, and ate the freshest seafood and befriended some very cool islanders, with our feet dipped in perfect turquoise waters. I will just let the photographs speak for themselves...

the color of the lagoon water!!

our lunch!!!

I couldn't believe my time in El Nido - the Bacuit Archipelago that everyone comes here to see HAS to be seen when it is sunny out, and I knew that my chances were slim given it is typhoon season. Well, on the day that I arrived, it was a perfect day - so I thought my chances were even slimmer that the following day would be just as good. "No, I think you will be ok. Last week it rained, so this week is better," was what one local said. I didn't really believe them for some reason, because it is such a tropical climate here that anything can happen, like 3 different showers in one day. I went ahead and booked tour A anyway... It wound up being another perfect, sunny day. I counted my blessings with this luck. Big Lagoon, Small Lagoon, Shimizu Island, Secret Lagoon, Seven Commando Beach were the stops.

we all got free kayaks

snorkeling

In addition to this incredible paradise, I made a group of really awesome friends - a couple from the UK, an Australian photographer and a Korean guy from LA. They were my buddies the whole trip, and we motorbiked our way together through incredibly muddy terrain to get to beaches, we did the tours together, went out at night together, it was a solid group of good company and people. AND, After we all enjoyed tour A together, we decided to take the next day "off" to rest and explore other parts of El Nido instead, which doesn't really require perfect weather at all. And guess what? Our day off was the day it decided to rain. Thank goodness for this timing - had it rained during one of our tours, it would not have been nearly as beautiful or enjoyable.

the gang

even on our rainy "day off", the clouds still broke out at the end of the day :)

out after the long day

Could we really be that lucky that the following day, where we were to book tour C, that the weather would get back to perfect again? I thought there was no way we could get that lucky. It's supposed to rain more than the sun shines in all of the Philippines during this rainy and humid month of August. NOPE, on our third day, the day we booked tour C, the weather was once again on our side. I kept shaking my head in total disbelief, and gratitude. Star Beach, Secret Beach, Talisay Beach, Hidden Beach, Helicopter Island were the stops.

oh my GODDDDDDD!!!!!

Tour C was the best snorkeling I've actually ever done, ever. Amazing sites

It is truly rare where a tropical destination really gets to me, beyond the color of the water - these were prehistoric, Jurassic-style surroundings, with gravity-defying rocks that all look like they're frozen in a pose of mid-eruption, from millions of years ago. The adventure of swimming or crawling through little openings to find a secret or hidden beach or lagoon was truly amazing. I was in awe the entire time. And still thanked my lucky stars that each day we headed out by boat, the blue sky was there with us.

The Last Night

The last story deserves its own category... On this night, Yohan and another girl we met earlier, also from LA, joined me at Lio Beach while our other friends went elsewhere for the day. We knew it was our last day in El Nido before we all parted ways for our next separate destinations. The beach was empty, but locals were in the water and began to talk to us. It was also an absolutely gorgeous sunset...

We get a feel for their trust, and they offer us beers. They are construction workers here, all on a job to create a new hotel nearby. We got here by a free shuttle but  realized we had missed the last one. To our surprise, one of the locals says, "tonight we are having a big fish for dinner, you are welcome to our bachelor pad."
One of them in particular, he may have been in his 50s - he reminded me of someone. Someone kind, someone close, someone trustworthy, paternal, gentle. He told me not to go to a certain place in the Philippines because of all the rebel groups there, and it wasn't until I heard his tone of voice and the look in his eyes that I realized who he had reminded me so much of. My dad. "Don't go there, it's too dangerous. Do not go." I heard, saw, and felt my dad. And you know what? I canceled my ticket there right away.
Waves of uncertainty still flowed through us as to whether we should join these 8 locals in their home for dinner. But we said yes to the adventure.

It was a short truck ride away to their bachelor pad, and we met the rest of their crew, also made up of a few 18 year olds. What ensued was a night of endless beer refills, so much food, fish, squid, chicken, small fish, rice, all for us as their special, spontaneous guests, plus acoustic guitar sing alongs (watch my insta story for a small snippet). The whole night was full of song and singing and being so merry with beers, and a trust so pure among us.

"you are always welcome here. Please, please come back."

And the one who reminded me of my dad, was the guitar player, the musician, the one who spread the joy of song, just like my dad used to. And he turned to me and put his hand on his heart after a moment of musical pause to say, "I am so happy to have met you and have you as our guest. I am very, very happy tonight."

I almost started to cry because he just felt like a father figure to me, even in his mustache - reminiscent of my own dad. And we all continued to sing, share food and drinks and tell jokes, and the stars were out and I looked to them and said "papa, look, I'm having fun papa," and I couldn't help but feel my eyes water with the bittersweet joy of it all, of that moment and this night. And I could feel his smile, and I could sense a strange connection through the man that reminded me so much of him.

Amazing fresh fish, squid and chicken!!

Then one of them talked about heart break, and me too about my most recent breakup, and we bonded over how it is sad, how we are sad, but life goes on... life always goes on, and they sang Filipino acoustic songs about love, heart break, our emotions and our capacity to feel, to break, and to push.

"Please come back, I hope you come back to the Philippines. This is now your home too. We are family now."

I told them all I had to leave early but my friends stayed out with them, but the father said goodbye to me with a paternal kiss on the cheek and asked his 18 year old son to drive me back by motorbike. "Please don't forget us, add me on Facebook and come back," the son said.
The wind on our faces, his motorbike driving slightly wobbly and dangerous from perhaps having one beer too many, I told him to drive slowly and said, "I will definitely see you all again one day." A cheek kiss farewell, and off he drove.

This was one of those once in a lifetime moments. The types of experiences we remember. It's the people, the emotions, the associations, the trust. And in sharing our stories, in looking out for one another when hours ago we were strangers, when we trust so openly, so honestly and freely in the vulnerable emotions we share and the universal language of music that we speak, that we become bonded and effortlessly united in our humanity...

Where I am Now

I've also made a stop in Coron since my time in El Nido, but I feel like that place also deserves its own post. Now I am in Bohol, after spending a few days in Cebu as well - there's been lots of hopping around! And I've made some new friends and linked up with old ones. What a country this is, the people are so honest, gracious, kind, happy. The sites are beyond words. This was the right choice, instead of heading to India for my final stop.

Indonesia: The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly

Wow, what a week it was to be back in Indonesia... back in 2012, I wrote a blog entry for Luang Prabang, Laos and titled it "The Goods, the Bad, & the Ugly" - well, my week in Indo was just about the same as that, so this is the 2.0 version.

Arriving in Bali

The flight I took from Hong Kong to Bali was about 5 hours, and there was no moon in sight. I figured, might this be a good time to try and play with some astrophotography, now that I have my new camera? Turns out, it was incredible, despite being a bit shaky since our plane was moving. It made me ponder over the vastness of this universe and how small we are, and how sights like this are so rare to find. I pressed my camera against the glass with the window half closed, just enough to fit the lens through, and covered the rest with my sweater to shield more light from coming in, and this was the spectacular view into the beyond... Category: Good.

The next best part about arriving back in Bali was actually getting picked up by my really good friend taxi driver from last year's trip, Ketut! It was so good to see him again, and this time he had much long hair! But there was a reason for this: "My wife is expecting!"

"What do you mean??"
"In Bali, it is good luck for the parents to not cut their hair until baby is born."
So cool !!! His baby is due in December. This would be so cool if this were a tradition in the states. He and I chatted for a long time in his taxi, talked about the year we had... He was so nice and gave me a good deal with his friend to transport me over to the Gili Islands in a few days. Category: So good.

Canggu, Bali

This was my first stop, and was a place I visited for a day last year but was told it would be a great place to unwind and relax. It truly was that, and I made sure that it was a stay where I would only nourish myself of super healthy foods, freshly squeezed smoothies, and reflective writing. Category: Good, just what I needed.

This is actually in Seminyak, a place called "Shelter Bali" - I would go back just for this place. NYC needs this restaurant and everything on its menu

I even went ahead and tried some more adventurous foods during my stay, which included eating LIZARD on a skewer - it actually tasted really good, flavored like pork but just chewier. 

I had no idea that this was also going on, but for the few days that I was in Canggu, this was also the same exact time that the annual Street Art Festival was taking place in Bali, and happening right in Canggu... I did not plan for this at all, but wow it was awesome!!! For 3-4 days, artists from all over the world come in to openly paint, spray-paint, or install their artwork throughout this giant warehouse area in the middle of Canggu. Visitors can come in to watch artists at work any time and then admire the finished product. The week also has lots of parties to celebrate the artists' achievements. It was so cool to see these enormous murals coming to life, and then sometimes, once an artist had gone on the first day and was ready to part ways with his/her art, their work would be painted over for the next artist to share their vision. It was soooo cool to see this all. And lazing on a black sand beach as well was a highlight, black from the ash of nearby volcanoes, watching locals fly the giant Indonesian kites. It was a satisfying welcome-back to Bali. Category: Awesome.

This was just one of many... they were all amazing though

(trying to upload more pictures now but grrr.... not working)

Gili Islands

This was another place I went to last year and HAD to go back to because of its crystal clear waters and amazing sunshine and seatime. I couldn't be sure that my time in the Philippines would have any sunshine at all, because it's Typhoon season over there, so I knew that no matter what, going to the Gilis would be a good idea. Or would it?

We all got on the fast boat which was meant to take about 2 hours to the island. The locals on the boat were playing some great music, passing around a few beers. I sat on the top of the boat because inside I get a little seasick if I don't feel the wind on my face or see the horizon. After the first hour on top of the boat, I decide to have a beer. I am so happy at this point and ready to enjoy the beach time on the island, I was ready to go out and dance, I was ready for it all, I finished my cold beer, and then we arrived.

I got up and then suddenly saw spots everywhere - I figured I had gotten up too soon so I turned my head upside down. Then I stood up again, and the feeling came back... I felt better sitting down, but then I couldn't sit still, like I wanted to topple over, but I wasn't drunk. I tried to get up again 3 more times, with great difficulty, and wondered maybe let me get downstairs in the shade. The whole interior of the boat was fading in and out of my vision and I had to collapse on one of the seats. The line kept moving but I waited to be at the back of the line. I got up again, white flashes everywhere, and then, feelings of confusion. That's when I started to get really concerned. What was happening to me? I tried to get off this boat but could not walk beyond three steps every time without feeling the need to totally collapse on the floor. I drank some water, it didn't help. I tried taking deep breaths, all my body seemed to want to do was pass out, but I had to get off this boat, as my luggage was already thrown off onto the beach's shore with everyone else's. Everything is spinning, I can't see much, and I can't keep myself up. I hold onto the seats and drag myself to the exit. The captain sees me and asks, "are you ok?" I say "no." He helps carry me off the boat, along with others, it takes so much concentration for me to climb down the boat's ladder, I almost collapse into the water. All I'm trying to do at this point is find my backpack. I spot it 20 feet away. I zigzag walk, the sun is burning, pushing me down into the sand, and I collapse onto my backpack, breathing heavily. The heat pounds down onto me that it forces me to stay put where I am, sprawled over my backpack as though it was a pillow. That's when a few british girls asked me if I was ok, I told them "no, I think it's heat exhaustion or dehydration," They give me some water and carry me off the beach and immediately into the shade. I could not walk on my own, and all I could feel were the grips of hands carrying my arms as my feet barely stepped through the sand. I am so confused at this point, I don't even know how to speak properly. Part of my head was even twitching, I just wanted it all to go away. Then locals told me to not move, and instead they brought me inside this little office space where there was a mat on the floor and they told me to rest. I drank water and passed out. Before I knew it, 2 hours had gone by... It dawned on me once I finally arrived safe and sound hours later that really what had happened was a borderline heat stroke, if not a very serious case of heat exhaustion. It was so hot without me even knowing it, because of how strong the winds were on the boat. But the sun was hitting harder than I could feel, and then, with the one beer I had, it raised my temperature more (because of my "asian glow" problem), so my temperature was probably approaching 105 degrees and I might have needed to be hospitalized if I spent any longer out in the sun. It was so scary, especially the confusion part, not understanding how to function or speak, I felt helpless. It was a weird way to begin my week in paradise. Category: Bad.

I rested up the entire day and kept hydrating. That was one of the scariest things to ever happen to me! And everyone else on the boat seemed fine. Why? I didn't understand that... thankfully, the rest of my stay in the Gili islands didn't have any more waves of heat exhaustion hit, but I felt like every once in a while there were remnants of small twitches/ticks that would occur in my eyes.

After I got better, my stay was beautiful and it was the first time my whole trip where I went out for some amazing nights of good partying and dancing, including the boat party I did last year as well. I made some good friends too, nearly all of them were teachers! And we bonded over the teacher lifestyle, its perks, and challenges. 

A capture from the boat party!

Another really really beautiful part of this week, not just the gorgeous coral-colored sunsets and the bright turquoise waters, were the talks I had with these fellow teacher travelers. I had so many deep talks about fate, coincidence, our capacity to feel emotions, examine them, learn from them. These talks were also shared on the beach at night under moonlight, laying down with our backs in the sand and our feet close enough to the shore that with every gentle wave that crashed our feet would get wet just up to our ankles before the wave would disappear again, leaving tons of sparkling bioluminscence around us once it retreated back. We talked to the starlit sky, the shy milky way hiding from the brightness of the moon, as we counted 10+ shooting stars in moments of pause between our talks. These were the moments to remember. Category: Back to amazing.

The last sunset

The amazing, unreal water

It was a good idea in the end to have made it back here in Indonesia, which still feels like my favorite country overall. But the final chapter needed to start, which was the Philippines. I was scheduled to leave the Gili islands at 3PM that day to catch a very late, 1:30AM flight the same day. This turned into a complete nightmare, and a near 48-hour commute...

Leaving Gili...

So I was supposed to catch a 3pm boat, arrive back on bali island at 5pm, take a 2 hour taxi arrive at the airport by 7pm, plenty of time. I wake up to the news that all boats to bali are canceled due to severe waves. The only alternative was to take a boat to Lombok (another island, 1 hr), transfer to a bus (2 hrs) to a different ferry terminal and take a slow ferry (4 hours) back to bali, before taking the taxi to the airport (2 hrs). I still had time for this, because if I left right away (it was 12PM) that would make me arrive at the airport by 10PM probably. Well, I couldn't get any refund for my roundtrip from before, so I had to pay all over again for the Lombok transfer, and then our bus driver got lost 3 times (had to u-turn 3 times), and then the ferry itself was a bigger nightmare... this was the worst. Everyone was packed like sardines, trying to shuffle past each other to board the ferries. One ferry pulled in and barely took any people when there was so much space. It left right away. Everyone formed a line along this narrow boardwalk to get on, but once they cut people off, suddenly the end of the boardwalk (people who would be next) became the back of the line, because the new ferry was on a different boardwalk. So I was now at the back of the line again. Finally after about 2 hours of stalling, we get on the new ferry. It does not leave right away like the previous one did, it stays idle for 2 more hours. We didn't leave the harbor until after the sun set. It was 6pm? Then the ferry ride itself was 6.5 hours instead of 4. At one point the ferry also stayed idle because it was dark, and I watched it on my GPS, it was not going the right way. Everyone is telling me I won't make it now. Then we finally arrive and it is midnight. People were trying to get off this ferry like it was the titanic, I accidentally hit a little girl in the head with my bag and the mom yelled "YOU HIT MY DAUGHTER" and everyone was so frazzled and I was in such a mess because I was telling everyone I had a flight to catch. I had to squeeze past huge trucks parked in the first floor of the ferry, the storage cabin - hearing the mom say "this is impossible!! how do we get out of here!!" and I'm there, with my bag, which gets stuck and covered in dirt as I shimmy in between these 18-wheelers. It truly felt like we were all trying to escape the Titanic. We finally get out, but I think there is no way now that I will make my flight, I will miss it. Couldn't believe that I left the island at 12PM and manage to miss a 1:30AM flight. So I give up and try to find the nearest hotel. Closed, everywhere fully booked, I get redirected to one that is open but then there is no one at reception. I waste a half hour walking with a dead cell phone trying to find a place that has rooms available and someone who is awake. Eventually I give up and decide maybe it's best for me to go straight to the airport and see what can be done. I get to the airport at 1:55AM, "last call" flashing on the screen for my flight, it's too late. The people at the check-in counter were of no help at all, I'm begging for a refund because it was due to weather conditions that I missed my flight. They were like 'oh you need it in writing from the boat company that there were boats canceled" and i was like........ do you REALLY think you would ever approve a hand-written letter from the boat companies here? HAVE you ever evenSEEN a TYPED letter outlining something like this before? and they were like, "no.... you are right." So even the people of Bali airport airlines have no idea how to go around this. I call Chase to see if I can get a refund, and the first annoyance hits: "This call is not toll free if called overseas, you will have full international charges" - this is a credit card meant to help travelers, and the only number they provide for filing claims and discussing flight refunds is a number you can only call from the states? What the hell is that? So then I'm placed on hold forever, thinking of the amount of money this might cost. And then transfers, "please hold"s, and then chase card representatives too are asking for documentation, "a photograph of the storm". Are you kidding me, these are ocean waves not typhoons. What is wrong with these people doing their jobs??? She then explained I needed documentation of this, confirmation from the airline that they can't give me a refund, proof that I was not on the plane, etc, etc, etc, I got so fed up with trying to file claims, trying to get a new flight, etc - so I missed my flight and had to pay a full airline price for a flight leaving at 8AM. I did not sleep, at all. Had to take 2 flights to finally make it to Puerto Princesa - my layover was over 5 hours long and, even with my lounge pass, I was denied entry into the lounge because here apparently it was ONLY for international flights. I told them I was desperate for a computer. It's all I need, please let me in, I have 5 hours. I have the card! They tried to help me, floor 3 staff directed me to floor 4, floor 4 staff directed me back to floor 3 staff, it was never ending, I broke down finally when one woman kept saying "sorry we can't let you into the lounge to use a computer" because I was having the worst 24 hours, she called lots of people to see what she could do, but no one allowed me in, DESPITE my membership. I was ready to quit the whole day and all of life at this point, and then along the way to my final flight I kept getting cut by families who had no regard for what it means to queue in an orderly line, literally one of those rude families RUNNING to be in front of me. I said "are you kidding me?" etc, etc - tried to stay calm. Finally, I arrive at puerto princesa at 10PM where I got scammed by the tricycle driver who tried to charge me 250 pesos for a ride that shouldn't have been more than 80-100. And then, I developed a leaky faucet post-nasal-drip catastrophy for days, and a fever throughout my Puerto Princesa stay. Category: Ugly.

Where I am Now

I'm in El Nido, one of the most beautiful places I have ever been to. It's been a much, MUCH better week. I think one thing that I've learned from this trip, our attitude and mental peace or imbalance truly affects our physical health. I really believe that. I am way more excited to write about my time in the Philippines, which has already proven to be magical.

HONG KONG & Macau (and the quest for a computer)

Oh my GOD it's been an impossible week trying to find a proper internet cafe to finally update this blog!! I feel so far behind now - after Hong Kong I made my way to Bali and the Gili Islands, where there were absolutely no internet cafes in sight, and today, I am typing from the Philippines where it is the THIRD internet cafe that I found that finally was able to read my USB and phone properly. WHEW. I will write very soon about my time in Bali/Gili, but firstly, a place that deserves its own blog post:

Hong Kong

This was such a wonderful 6 days!!! Gregory, my uncle (who is younger than me) picked me up after a scenic airport express train ride into the city. I was already struck by Hong Kong when looking out my airplane window - so many beautiful little islands with clear turquoise water. Hong Kong as a landscape felt so much like a Caribbean Island, but cosmopolitan.

The day I arrived there wasn't much time to plan anything, besides a really really big welcome dinner. This was so nice because this was also me meeting relatives of mine I had never met before, including aunts and grand-aunts and grand-uncles. Greg was the ULTIMATE tour guide throughout my entire stay. Something else that struck me about walking through the Hong Kong streets was the insane amount of shopping malls, the lack of quaint and charming restaurants on a street corner, and probably the coolest: scaffolding still made up entirely out of bamboo rods instead of metal. SO COOL

I wish they didn't live so far away!! I really got to know my aunts Yvonne and Yasmine and catch up with Greg's twin brother Geoffrey, who I hadn't seen in years

The next day there was a typhoon 8 warning so everything was closed. Greg and I had scheduled to go to an olympic-team volleyball game, but they initially announced that no one could attend because of the dangerous weather. I spent most of the day resting, but then later in the afternoon everything cleared and we were able to attend. This was so much fun!!!!!

We watched Japan vs. Russia, and then China vs. Serbia. Everyone wanted Japan to win, there were even cute drummers chanting for Japan to win. China vs. Serbia was actually a sort of rematch from the Olympics, because China beat Serbia so they won Gold and Silver. This time though, serbia won. It was so cool to see how on this side of the world, the noise-makers given to audience members was a piece of poster paper that could be turned into a fan to make noise. I love that that is the "eastern" equivalent to what fans use at sports games in western countries!

After this game, of course there was going to be another big dinner. I got pretty adventurous with new food... including duck tongue (tasted exactly like jellyfish to me), smelly tofu (omg... it really smells and tastes like poop), and something called "beggar's chicken", where a full chicken is wrapped in lotus leaves and then wrapped in mud/clay. After it bakes, you hammer the clay off. Everyone told me I should be the hammerer so I did it but a bit too strongly because then everyone was holding their arms out telling me to stop!

After I hammered the chicken

All of this family-style food was good fuel for the next day ahead, which was a very spontaneous day trip to Macau...

Macau

Wow what an interesting place. It was definitely worth a day's trip, and we lucked out with amazing weather. I was surprised to see that parts of Macau were far more run down that parts of Hong Kong, it really felt like another developing country like ones I had seen in Southeast Asia. Some parts truly felt dirty and run-down, which I found strange considering how overly-developed and clean the other part of Macau was with all the casinos. We were lucky enough to have my grand-uncle's friend drive us around - we asked him about this and he said the Makanese have no interest at all in renovating Macau, they like the "developing" look and feel that it has.

 The most beautiful parts were old Macau with the remnants of Portuguese architecture everywhere. Some parts SERIOUSLY felt like Europe, and suddenly I felt transported like I had no idea anymore where I was. Was I in Asia? It felt like I had a europe treat for the day, including a full portuguese lunch at the base of Macau's tallest tower. This tower is also the highest bungee jump in the world... (it crossed my mind for a few minutes to do it).

so european

the same tiled streets

omg the pasteis de nata... it was just as good as the ones I had in Portugal!

And then came the casino area..... This was wildly - perhaps alarmingly - different. It's sooo over the top here. Each building represents something different. One was Paris, one was Venice and SO "extra" that it even had a canal and gondola ride going through it. Another was sooo over the top it had 2 ferris wheels attached to its facade. What????? Just tons of shops, casinos, and fancy living. Greg and I did gamble for a bit and wound up leaving with money gained!

the two ferris wheels!

Ridiculous

This also made me wonder for a second, how many tourists that remain in Asia come to these places, thinking and feeling it is like the real Venice, and therefore don't feel a need to go to Venice. Greg said it was probably many people who think this way.

The day ended at this amazing, unreal buffet dinner place (maman you and mamie have been here!) which I found so impressive, seriously anything you could ask for: thai, japanese, chinese, indian, western dihes, LOBSTER, and endless desserts... I had a little portion of each and every one.

one fraction of the endless buffet areas...

The Day of Hong Kong Heights: 

The following day wound up being absolutely incredible!!!! This was the one day I had hoped and kept my fingers crossed for good weather at any point in the day. I knew not to keep my hopes too high because it was rainy season and had rained every day that week. But somehow, to our luck, there were barely any clouds in the sky, let alone rain, which made for a day of truly spectacular sites that I'm so grateful for. Greg and I got up pretty late and started the afternoon taking a cable car over to the Big Buddha, a giant buddha atop a hill on the island next to hong kong's main island.

This cable car ride alone made the whole day worth it, it even had a glass bottom to it so we could see everything below us, holding our breaths... Wow, I'm still so amazed by the water of Hong Kong. So turquoise! And the sun was warm, beaming, and happy.

SO HIGH UP

We made it to the Big Buddha, also quite a sight, surrounded by mountains... amazing sculptures also surrounded the main buddha with views of the water and smaller islands in the distance. I don't even know what to say about this day and the perfect sunny weather and the sites, I just felt blessed that the day we chose to do the most outdoorsy and scenic things, was the one day in the week where there were hardly any clouds.

view from inside the cable car

On our way back from the Big Buddha, our final destination was Victoria's Peak, another highlight in Hong Kong where you can see the whole city view from a hilltop. There were a lot of tourists there but it did not obstruct the view or my enjoyment of it. In this mall complex that this viewpoint was a part of, I couldn't help but splurge on some amazing Korean skin care products (my new obsession, courtesy of Geoffrey Chi my uncle). The day ended with what was probably one of the most amazing dumpling experiences of my life for dinner... xiao long bao in different flavors. We didn't really have lunch on this day, so I stuffed my face.

SALIVATING: Original, black truffle, cheese, crab roe, garlic, szechuan, ginseng and foie gras flavors!!!!!!

One last thing that's caught my attention in Hong Kong, besides the bamboo scaffolding... All of the adorable stuffed animals and anime characters everywhere!

in a shopping mall

Then began my last day in Hong Kong... Greg and I wanted to take it easy today and had another late start. We actually moved away from Asian food today because my grand-uncle wanted to take us to a really fancy french restaurant instead, L'Atelier. That isn't something I'd normally do while traveling, however I was wowed by the displays of all of their dishes, and it was quite good.

truly like a work of art, you almost don't want to eat it!

Our last stop of the day was to go to Stanley Market, a big market at the southern tip of Hong Kong. The market was not like I expected, it was very similar to all of the local markets throughout southeast asia, selling things for tourists, etc - it was sooo far to get to, but made for a very serene, unexpectedly relaxing retreat and moment of quiet along the rocks that made up Stanley Harbor. Suddenly the rush of the week had come to a halt in this moment as Greg and I just absorbed the sea, the barnacles, the waves, the boats, the sunset.

My last night in Hong Kong ended at a golf club for a big dinner with aunts, grand-aunts and grand-uncles again for one last get-together. This was when I really got to know Yvonne, my 39 year old aunt really well. She told me all about her travels to Mongolia recently, where she goes during her vacation but to help out children there in small villages. We bonded over traveling while sipping some margaritas... It felt fascinating to me to finally get to know my mom's side of the family when my whole life I had grown up knowing mostly my dad's side. It made me wish we were all living in the same country!

My stay in Hong Kong ended with some more shopping for korean skin care products (thank you greg for carrying them back home to NYC ;)) and then a stuffing dim sum for breakfast before heading to the airport. Everyone said I should come back to Hong Kong and stay much longer next time. It feels so heartwarming that now I can say I am always invited back "home" to Hong Kong if I wish to return.

The past week 

The past week I will write another blog entry for in the next couple of days - it was quite a whirlwind week on all levels - and I returned to Bali and the Gili islands for some much needed sun and beach time. Blog entry coming soon on this one...

It was a very reflective week while in Bali/Gili, as well where I had deep conversations with other solo travelers about what you get out of these types of trips, backpacking, vacationing... Many things discussed were that you can never force one trip to be like a previous one. And even if a past trip was incredible and the one you currently are on does not match up, it doesn't mean that it is worse, it just means that the current trip has a different purpose. Too often on this trip I felt like it had not been the same, most amazing summer of my life like last year's trip was - but that's because when you have expectations, you will be disappointed - and when you try to seek out something that already happened, you are not opening your mind to what HASN'T happened. This trip has most certainly been a more difficult trip, mentally, emotionally - but it just has a different purpose than the one I went on last year. Last year's trip I also chose out of desire, while this trip I mostly chose out of anger, from certain things falling apart prior to the start of summer. This all factors into the experience. And also, more often than not, you will not know what the "purpose" of a trip really was until long after you return home, finally unpacking and processing on what you had just lived through over the past couple of months. I am OK with not knowing yet, not wanting to find out right away what the purpose of this year's trip is. I will know eventually, and it will all make sense.

Where I am Now

The Philippines, finally - BOY is there a surprise to write about as to how I finally made it here...in one piece and all of my sanity